Finding time to homeschool

The logistics of homeschooling in our home

I’ve had some requests to share the spells we’ve found useful for expanding time. Alas, we too continue to find ourselves ever humbled by the unattainability of our daily desires. Kids serve you hourly reminders of just how futile your attempts at control can be.

When I told Oz I was writing a post about our homeschooling routine, his input was simply “what routine.” Nevertheless, it seems this info is interesting to some people - and I certainly love hearing others’ ideas about how to better wrangle time. So, rather than a “routine”, I’ll describe what we tend to fit into each day, including domestic life, since homeschooling and domestic life are so intertwined.

But first, for some context, here are our values/constraints/freedoms, because they certainly shape our decision-making and time use in a way that is likely different to yours. Our priorities tend to be: optimizing our kids’ experiences (high quality education, highly invested caregivers, strong relationships, interesting experiences, adequate play time, very responsive parenting styles), our relationship, exercise, healthy eating, adults performing meaningful and/or high value work, and a clean and tidy home. I tend to go to bed ridiculously early. Oz is great about using evenings to explore all of the wondrously wonderful things there are in the world. Our work is also from home, on computers, running our own businesses (i.e. a different set of demands to being an employee). Oz’s work requires some extended periods of concentrated brain work, and a lot of my work can be done in a half-distracted state (this was intentional). We can afford to outsource things like cleaning. Oz and I share the domestic work that isn’t outsourced.

Here are the work/childcare iterations we’ve been through:

• Dad works FT, mum parents FT. This is by far the most common dynamic in homeschool families, but not one we ultimately wanted.

• Daycare/preschool. This didn’t work for us, for the same kinds of reasons that we homeschool.

• Both parents work PT, use an au pair during work time. This worked in so far as the kids could stay home with us (yay!), but the quality of the kids’ experience wasn’t *ideal* - and that’s something we place a huge value on - so it felt like there was some room for improvement. We may very well explore this kind of thing again, though, because having a third adult around is great in many ways. I’ve also heard something about sister wives…

• Both parents work PT and parent PT. This is our current set-up, and it’s one we like. Although I’ve noticed we both readily gravitate towards wanting to hang out as a family, so the pull of work needs to be strong in order for this to not become dual full-time parenting :) We’re also having a baby in January (yay!), which will pull us more heavily in the direction of parenting for a while.

Currently, our schedule includes, in theory:

• Oz spends 3-5(?) hours working a day, mainly in his office. This is in the afternoons while I supervise the kids doing their daily exercise, playtime, craft etc. He also fits in less brain-consuming work in patches during the day. He’s also one to work very late at night and crazily early in the morning, on occasion.

• I work in the mornings while Oz homeschools both kids, and I would say they are involved in “learning” stuff for 1-4+ hours a day, depending on the activity, emotional states, and interest levels. That works well when he does project-based activities, but anything desk-related where the kids are working on challenging things can readily cause one’s brain to explode, because there’s so much going on at once. I’m not sure how others manage to do this. I think I’ll spend more time being involved in this process, but it feels less efficient than what others seem to manage. I do not know. That aspect will get easier as they get older. I’m currently finding it hard to be as motivated to work, likely because of the prioritizations encouraged by my pregnancy hormones. A taboo thing to share, I know.

• The kids spend between 0-6 hours playing a day, depending on whether Saturn is aligned with Neptune or the Blue Moon is on its third orbit that year. Oftentimes this allows me to get work done, oftentimes it also means I get up from my seat every five minutes to assist them in learning negotiating skills :) We both find it hard to switch modes like that, though. Given true play isn’t something that can be forced, we tend to prioritize letting them go for it if and when they start, even if it conflicts with our homeschool plans. This requires regular reassurances to our brains that flexibility is okay and it will all be okay. That can be harder to find sustainable wrt work needs.

• Oz tends to exercise in the early mornings, I do so when the kids are playing or our youngest naps or whatever (home based workouts = flexible).

• We’ll have lunches and dinner stuff pre-prepared on a good day, or I’ll get dinner done sometime in the afternoon while the kids play. When things are really going swimmingly, the kids will even cook dinner themselves (yay!).

• The kids socialize with others for about 8 hours a week.

• Oz and I spend a decent chunk of time chatting together during the day, and that is a really nice feature of this lifestyle.

• Time in the kitchen: ~2 hours a day, owing to all being home a lot. We do have someone to help with some cooking, sometimes, and would like more help in that department. But cooking aside, there’s still a lot of general cleaning and dishwashering and tidying that goes on. Also ~1 hour a week of meal planning and online grocery shopping (emphasis for effect; this is such a significant time saver!).

• 1-2 loads of washing a day (probably 20min when all’s said and done). I put this on first thing in the morning.

• Tidying up after kids’ play. On a good day, the kids help and we make Maria Montessori proud. On a realistic day, this causes some degree of exasperation and takes about 30+min? We currently don’t force them to tidy up after each activity because they tend to flow between states in such a delightfully absorbed way. But that means more tidying at the end of the day and that feels less delightful.

• Kiddie care. At the moment we do a lot for our kids, including staying with them until they fall asleep at night (I know parents gain more time when they don’t do this), and all up that takes up to a couple of hours to cover the basics, give or take an extra hour or three to tend to their emotional/connection needs. Oz will do things like pair hair brushing with computer-based learning. All this will reduce as they get older, but we’re not forcing this kind of independence as much as others do (and so incur the associated time costs as a result ;) ).

• Cleaning. Ash cleans our home weekly and she is the best.

• Home and garden maintenance. Downsizing would be a good idea; this bulletpoint has an insatiable appetite.

So that’s our deal. Hopefully somewhat useful for some. We don’t have any magic, and while we love our life, we also experience the same kind of “messiness” as everyone else when it comes to doing life with young kids. And, given the ever-changing nature of life, it’ll no doubt look different next month. Most certainly come January :)